Five Ways to Get People to Tell the Truth
The average person is lied to at least twice every single day.
With deception being so commonplace, knowing how to cut through the confusion and get to the facts is a powerful and essential skill to have.
Boost your lie-busting ability with these five simple ways to get people to tell the truth.
1. Avoid making direct accusations
Accusations put people on the defensive and make it so much harder for you to extract the truth. When people feel threatened, they often either shut down or lie in order to present themselves in the best possible light. Choose your words carefully so that the other person’s natural defenses don’t go up.
Remember that body language can be just as accusatory as your words, so pay attention to your posture, stance, and movements during the conversation. Sit down if you can, make eye contact, and speak in a calm, neutral, reassuring tone. Rest your hands softly in your lap or at your sides to create an impression that you’re open and understanding.
2. Ask the right questions
Questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no are easier for liars to navigate since they don’t require any detail or elaboration. The fine points of a story are often what reveal inconsistencies and untruths, so the kind of questions you want to ask are ones that elicit a longer narrative. These are known as open-ended questions. Examples include “Could you tell me what happened at yesterday’s meeting?” or “What’s your version of the events in question?”
As the other person answers these questions, pay attention to the nonverbal cues and emotional responses that come across. These are also part of their answer and provide powerful clues as to whether they are being completely honest or not.
3. Minimize the significance
One major reason why people lie is the fear of what consequences the truth will bring. You can use this to your advantage by minimizing the imagined consequences and convincing the person that a lie is no big deal.
If they feel that they won’t face the negative outcome they feared, they are more likely to confess or at least drop a few hints as to what the truth is.
4. Boost their ego
Flattery is a proven technique for getting people to let down their guard and be frank and honest.
Why does stroking the ego work so well? It comes down to the basic fact that people like feeling good about themselves and they have positive feelings towards those who produce these “warm fuzzies.” When a person feels good and at ease around you, they’re far more likely to want to cooperate and give you the facts you’re looking for.
5. Put the pressure on with silence
Most people are unsettled by prolonged silences. They’ll speak up just to fill the void and break that mounting sense of awkwardness and discomfort. Once they start talking, they may let important information slip out, since they’re desperate to fill the silence and the truth is usually the closest thing at hand.
